It was about 11:00 at night, and I was shutting down the lights to go to bed.  As I walked into the kitchen, I froze.  There was a tarantula the size of my hand in the middle of the floor.  Oh my God! Oh my God! After a moment of panic, the rational part of my brain broke through my terror and told me that I had to deal with it.  But how?  My usual procedure with spiders was to turn a glass over them, slide a piece of paper underneath, and gently place them outside.  That wasn’t going to work with something this size!  There is a tarantula in my kitchen!  Oh my God! Oh my God! Even though I knew that tarantulas are harmless, some deep primal fear made it hard to think. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a quart yogurt container in the dish drainer.  This still wasn’t wide enough to come down over the tarantula, but, taking a deep breath and summoning all of my courage, I approached the tarantula with the container and cover and scooted him inside.

As I held the container closed, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.  There is a tarantula in my kitchen!  Oh my God! Oh my God! Now what?  The closest door went into the garden.  I didn’t want to have him living out there!  I made it to the front door and across the driveway to the front yard.  By now I had used up what was left of my failing courage, so I drop the container on the ground and ran back into my house and locked the door.  There was a tarantula in my kitchen!  Oh my God! Oh my God! I felt violated, vulnerable, and alone, but I was too full of adrenalin to cry.  I thought about calling someone.  No one I knew to be comforting would still be up.  It was only a big spider after all. Don’t be a wimp! Go to bed.

I made my way to the bedroom, nervously checking every shadow, and running terrifying scenarios in my head.  What if there are more of them in here?  What if more come in during the night? What if I get up in the middle of the night and step on one? There was a tarantula in my kitchen!  Oh my God! Oh my God! I crawled into bed, pulled the covers tight around me, and hugged a pillow for some small comfort.  After asking the Angels to protect me, I fell into a fitful sleep.  Around 3:00am, I had a nightmare.  I dreamt that I was forced to watch someone I loved being tortured and mutilated for acting against the authorities.  I went to speak out in protest, and was pulled back and warned “No.  Be silent!”  I woke up nauseated and in a cold sweat.   My physical discomfort and the horrific images I had witnessed had me wide awake.  I appealed to the Angels to fill me with their love and light, and help me understand what was happening to me. I was finally able to sleep, again.

The next morning, I was still a bit shaky and feeling uneasy.  I called a Shaman friend of mine in hopes of getting some answers.  She was thrilled I had a tarantula in my kitchen!  It was a gift to me; a clear message about releasing my fear.  She went on to explain that tarantulas are the most revered of spiders, and associated with wisdom, creativity, and transformation.  Spiders also aid in communication and weaving magic with the written word.  As for my nightmare, I was clearing a past life fear of speaking up and sharing my truth, that had been blocking my ability to create to my fullest potential.  The fact that I was nauseous meant the clearing was very deep.  This was all great news!

How amazing! With a simple shift in perspective, I was now grateful to have had a tarantula in my kitchen. I went from being a victim of my fear to embracing the powerful gifts it had brought me. I could see it as a positive learning experience that had helped me release an old fear and expand to be more of my true authentic self, more of who I was meant to be in the world, more able to fulfill my divine purpose.

Now it’s your turn. What is the “tarantula in your kitchen?” Can you welcome and accept your fear without judgment, knowing that love is on the other side, and that clearing it helps to bring you back to your divinity?  Good.  Now take a deep breath and let it go.

No tags

I was speaking with friends last night about our collective memories of 9/11.  Each one of us has a vivid memory of that day.  I wanted to share two of mine that happened before and after the actual event.  At around 2:00am on September 11^th, I woke up in a cold sweat, with my heart pounding.  I immediately went to my front door, and in my pajamas, went outside expecting to see the destruction that was the result of the huge crash, loud explosion, and immense fire I had experienced in my dream.  It had seemed so real, but there was nothing there but the stillness of the night.  I found out later that many people around the world had had similar prophetic dreams and/or a sense of foreboding.

The following Saturday, I was attending the first day of a three day workshop to increase your psychic abilities.  At the end of the day, the facilitators created a special prayer circle for those who had lost their lives on 9/11.  Because we were in the Boston area, three of the 20 people present had lost personal friends on one of the planes.  My friend Jim had been a former client and was a kind, intelligent man with a wonderful spirit. The three names were brought into the circle and we were led in prayer to send our love to them and to all who had perished.  It was very powerful and healing for me, but as I was packing to leave, one of the facilitators came over to me. “Cecily, I’m not a medium, but Jim is here and he insists on speaking to you!”  I took out my notebook and began writing down what Jim had to say from the “other side.”  He had messages of love for his family, especially his teenage son. He was worried about his dog. He had messages for his business partner.  He then spoke about not being alone at the time of the crash, as he held hands with the women in the seat next to him. He was very concerned about the grief he could feel from those people left behind. He wanted me to know that he was fine and that “there is no death.”  It was an extraordinary experience on many levels!

A few years ago, I watched a video by Gregg Braden where he spoke about the satellites that are set up to measure the magnetic field of the Earth every 30 minutes.  In September 2001, the scientists were puzzled by some erratic readings that were off the scale.  When they overlaid a calendar on the readings, they realized that the spikes coincided exactly with the timing of 9/11.  In fact the first spike occurred 15 minutes after the first plane hit the first tower.  For those Star Wars fans out there, it was scientific evidence of a “disturbance in the force.” There have been many other experiments that continue to show that we are all connected, and that human emotions produced from our hearts, have an effect on the magnetic fields of the planet. It has also been shown that a certain number of people can come together and intentionally change the very field that affects human life.  Today, many such groups all around the world came together in remembrance and to intend peace.

John Lennon had it right; “All we need is love.”

With love and peace,

Cecily

9/11 · Gregg Braden · John Lennon · we are one

I was cleaning out an old filing cabinet the other day as part of a massive de-cluttering project in my office.  I found many nostalgic items like sweet, handmade cards from my son, old report cards, and photos with funny haircuts. I had also kept materials from many self-development programs I had taken over the years, and a whole file folder of random pieces of paper labeled ‘Inspirations.’ I enjoyed going through this material as a window to who I was in the past compared to who I am today.  The list below, dated 1995, stood out.  Reading it through, I was struck by the significant increase in my “symptoms“ at this point in my life, and, though not a perfect score, I couldn’t help but smile and pat myself on the back with “Nice work, Cecily!”

Enjoy the list, and may your symptoms be many!

Symptoms of Inner Peace by Jeff Rockwell

1. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experiences.
2. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
3. A loss of interest in judging self or others.
4. A loss of interest in conflict.
5. A loss of interest interpreting the actions of others.
6. A loss of the ability to worry (a serious symptom).
7. Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
8. Contented feelings of connectedness with others and with nature.
9. Frequent attacks of smiling through the eyes and heart.
10. Increasing susceptibility to love being extended by others… as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend love to others.

Jeff warns: If you have all or even most of the above symptoms, please be advised that your condition of INNER PEACE may be so far advanced as to not be treatable.

With Peace and Blessings,

Cecily

inner peace · self love · self-compassion