“No one is perfect… that’s why pencils have erasers.”  ~Author Unknown

My mother used to say this all the time, and I remember that it would temporarily make me feel better about whatever had happened or whatever mistake I had made.  But, I still pushed myself for that A+ grade.

We have all been programmed to constantly judge ourselves to make sure we “measure up.”  Where did this rigid measuring stick come from?  We’ve grown up comparing ourselves to others, and are taught at an early age to be our own worst critic.  We are continually judging how we’re better or worse than those around us, and our ego personality has a field day when we mess up.  Instead of fearing or being ashamed of our mistakes, what would happen if we embraced them?

Benjamin Zander, the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra, is well known for his orchestra’s passionate performances.  He encourages his orchestra members and students to examine their mistakes.  Whenever a wrong note is heard in rehearsal, he likes to raise his arms up over his head and declare “How fascinating!.”  The pressure on classical musicians to be perfect can be extreme.  Mr. Zander believes that this fear interferes with their ability to play extraordinarily well and to express their true genius, and he is always coaching them that mistakes are necessary in order to learn and grow.  In his book, The Art of Possibility, that he wrote with his wife, Rosamund, he presents a philosophy and strategy for seeing and living in the world from a standpoint of possibility rather than scarcity and restriction.  The book discusses how too many of us get entrapped in “something’s broken about me and I need to fix it,” instead of a believing in ourselves, our talents, and our possibilities.

I had a client who was an extremely gifted classical violinist.  Her goal was to become a member of a prestigious symphony orchestra, and she wanted coaching to help prepare her for the upcoming audition.  As a child first learning to play the violin, she had had an abusive teacher who anchored her terror of making mistakes.  This resulted in a constant drive to be perfect, which often impacted the quality of her performance during auditions.  We worked on letting go of her old “measuring stick”, and she stepped out of her comfort zone to play in new venues.  She stretched herself to play her violin with a rock band for several performances, jammed with a local jazz band, and even played on a street corner for the passers-by!  The freedom this gave her allowed her to approach the orchestra audition with new confidence, and she was able to reach her goal with ease.

Wayne Dyer talks about our ego standing for “edge-god-out.”  This false self acts as an inner critic and likes to run the show with measurements, comparisons, and restrictions.  We have a choice to shut out our ego and rediscover our power by consciously releasing judgment and negativity.  When we learn to accept and love all of who we are, our true self emerges, and we can return to Source.  The measuring stick gets thrown away, and there are only limitless possibilities.

To all the gifts from all your mistakes,

Coach Cecily